Ask your mate the following questions — at any stage in your marriage — to make sure your money is working to enhance your relationship.
1Where are we financially? Genesis 2 tells us that Adam and Eve were naked and not ashamed. One meaning of naked is open. Your marital openness needs to include your finances. Financial nakedness requires that you disclose everything. No secret accounts, no special stash for purchases your spouse doesn’t know about.
Take a look at where you two are — together. Look at the entire picture, whether it’s pretty or not. Make this a time of gathering the financial facts. Some couples fear this kind of truth. But getting the subject on the table is a relief in itself.
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chrISTIAN AUThor and counselor Norman Wright
believes money causes lots of arguments during
the first year of marriage. He’s correct, but it’s not
limited to the first year. Money can build oneness or create
division throughout your marriage.
Numerous times in counseling, I hear the phrases “my money” and “her money.” Or “She pays that bill out of her salary and I pay these,” with neither willing to help the other out if there’s a shortage one month. Such arrangements have the potential to separate the two who have become one.
2Do we like where we are? When asked how much money it would take to make him happy, one of the richest men in the world grinned and replied, “Just a little more.” Granted, most of us would like “just a little more” money, but the question is deeper than that.
Focus on assessing how you handle your finances. Are we tithing regularly? Does money create a lot of conflict between us? Are we comfortable with the direction in which we’re headed financially? Are we being responsible stewards with the resources God has provided us?
3Where would we like to go financially? A couple needs time together to dream about the financial future of their marriage and family. The forging and melding of those dreams into a financial plan enhances the marriage team’s identity and confidence.
Talk frequently, but once a year it pays to do a big-picture review of where you are so you can make adjustments when necessary. Take an afternoon, or better yet, a weekend to get away from the noise of everyday life and dream together.
And don’t forget to include some fun in your dream times. For years Selma and I have wanted to take a special vacation, but vacations take money. We’ve planned and saved for a long time. Hopefully by the time you’re reading this article, we will have returned from our dream vacation. Even though it’s been a long time coming, the planning and anticipation,
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