Forgiving Love Forgiving love safeguards your marriage by healing Safeguard Your Marriage hurts and helping you feel connected. And it’s a love that’s securely rooted in God’s love for us. When you exhibit forgiving love toward your spouse, you change the entire tone of your marriage. Marriage becomes a safe place where you don’t have to hide your foibles and failings. Instead of feeling scrutinized and condemned for your shortcomings, you feel accepted and forgiven.

© Westend61

4 hugs to survive

12
hugs to grow

© Randy Faris/Corbis

Adapted from 6 Secrets to a Lasting Love by Dr. Gary and Barbara Rosberg (Tyndale).

Xs and Os

Late family therapist Virginia Satir said people need daily:

8
hugs to maintain emotional level

6. 4
Number of calories burned
by kissing for one minute

4

Number of minutes you’ll need to kiss to burn off one Hershey’s Kiss

© Stockbyte

Rules of Engagement
How to Fight the Good Fight

The old adage says that all’s fair in love and war, but if war has thrown down the gauntlet on your marriage, it’s time to fight back. Although conflict is inevitable, it’s possible and necessary to disagree in a way that honors God and your spouse. Here’s how:

Get to the bottom of what’s really bothering you. Often what you think is the problem is just a symptom of the root cause.

Discuss in private. The church secretary doesn’t need to hear that your spouse never takes out the trash.

Use I statements rather than you statements. “I get frustrated when you don’t call to tell me you’ll be home late from work” sounds better than “You never call to tell me you’re going to be late!”

Avoid generalizations, such as always and never.

Stay on one topic. Don’t bring up past hurts.

Don’t withdraw if you’re having difficulty reaching a resolution. A trusted Christian counselor can help you work through a tough issue.

Remember, you’re on the same team. Have the goal of working through conflict in a healthy manner.