Pillow Talk
uncovering Your Hearts
1Over the course of your marriage, when do you remember missing your spouse the most?
2Which of your spouse’s accomplishments are you the most proud of?
Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, authors of Your Time-Starved Marriage, say too often couples get caught up in making a case to win an argument. In doing so, spouses can lose their objectivity because each wants to get his or her way. When you come to a standstill during a disagreement, count to 10. Rate how strongly you feel about the issue on a scale from one to 10. This will help you decide how to compromise with your spouse. The Parrotts offer the following scale to measure where you stand:
1. I’m not enthusiastic, but it’s no big deal to me.
2. I don’t see it the way you do, but I may be wrong.
3. I don’t agree, but I can live with it.
4. I don’t agree, but I’ll let you have your way.
5. I don’t agree and cannot remain silent on this.
6. I do not approve, and I need more time.
7. I strongly disapprove and cannot go along with it.
8. I will be so seriously upset [that] I can’t predict my reaction.
9. No possible way! If you do, I quit! 10. Over my dead body!
Visit realrelationships.com and click on “Downloads” to print a conflict card to keep on hand.
3 If money were no object, where would you and your spouse go on your dream vacation?
4 How do you like for your spouse to hold you?
5 In what ways can you sacrificially serve your spouse?
© Blend Images
“I married the first man I ever kissed.
When I tell this to my children, they just
about throw up.” — FORMER FIRST LADY BARBARA BuSH
The Five Languages of Apology by Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas (Northfield Publishing). Available in hardcover and CD at lifewaystores.com.
Relationships: A Mess Worth Making by Tim Lane and Paul Tripp (New Growth Press). Available at lifewaystores.com.
References:
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